name),
"Left handed people tend to be more artistic.",
"I hope you're not going to leave this site... that literally kills me, you know.",
"Ctrl (or cmd on Mac) + Shift + T reopens your last closed tab.",
"Aliens probably don't go to school.",
"^-^",
"Edelman has a Keurig you can use.",
"Does Santa know when I procrastinate?",
"You're in a coma.
We're trying a new technique to get to you.
Please wake up.
We miss you.",
"The patent for toilet paper shows it going over, not under.",
"Luke Ogburn carries mints in his backpack. Just ask and he'll give you one!",
"Someone ate my pringes :(",
"What if time goes backwards, but we just don't notice because our memories rewind too.",
"You seem like a nice person.",
"The school's layout is based off of that of a prison's.",
"Text someone you like and tell them why you like them. They'll appreciate it.",
"Rice isn't that hard to cook.",
"I wonder if there are any secret passages in the school.",
"Pineapples have neither pines nor apples in them.",
"Fear is information, don't ignore it.",
"If you're hungry, then eat.",
"If you're thirsty, then drink",
"Give yourself time. Butterflies don't form in a day.",
"Ask yourself: What would make me happy today?",
"Beauty shouldn't be pain. Being comfortable will make you happy, which will make you beautiful.",
"The more people use this site, the better it becomes.",
"Onions don't cry when they chop humans.",
"Never trust a plastic hippo.",
"Tabs are just capital spaces.",
"The very existence of socks is proof that shoes don't work.",
"Humans are the only creatures who care about time. Maybe it doesn't matter as much as we think it does.",
"People like you.",
"Chicken is better than turkey and you can't change my mind.",
"You look great today.",
"People are happy when you're happy, because they like you and want you to succeed in life.",
"In dog years, humans regularly live to 800+ years old. They probably think we're immortal or something.",
"If tipping were illegal, wait staff would be paid more and wouldn't neet tips in the first place.",
"I, for one, think that you're a good person."
];
$randomArray = array_filter($randomArray);
echo $randomArray[mt_rand(0, sizeof($randomArray)-1)];
?>